'Brinicle' ice finger of death!!

Sexy Sax Man

Oh man this song hasn't left my head since seeing this video again on Wednesday; one of the best viral videos ever.

The Green Winged Teal, and a knee-jerk rant about a Psyc Today article.

Self, a concept: that's what I'm feeling about 'self' after reading this extremely succinct and insightful history of psychology's ideas of 'self'... it's just a concept, that's it. Nothing more; philosophers and psychologists can discover ideas and scrutinize our styles and differences in cognition, but when applied to the whole of a person it all falls short. It all falls down. It seems the very idea of even having a self is itself a construct. Maybe even a 'self' construct...

Some of us humans don't even struggle with this concept, people with extreme congenital problems and/or various mental handicaps whose minds never had the chance do grow or develop never even ponder one's self. Yet through history and forward great minds grapple with this friction they've conceptualized as "self"...

So where does it end? We live our whole lives learning, discovering, building, growing, moulding and developing, inventing and battling with our 'self' and then regardless of how much we know our 'self' or how disheartened we are about our 'self' knowledge, it's all just fucking over.

Do we really need this concept? Is there any use for it?? Maybe we can just 'be'?

The coolest creeper around? The Brown One.

I never here 'em, rarely see 'em, and can forget about capturing a decent image of 'em.

That's all changed.

Ayahuasca Tea is Something to be Seriously Considered

Check out this Nature of Things.

The Jungle Prescription

Visit the official website to read more about this project and ayahuasca

The Jungle Prescription is the tale of two doctors treating their addicted patients with a mysterious Amazonian medicine rumored to reveal one’s deepest self. Dr. Gabor Maté has a revolutionary idea: to treat addicts with compassion. His work as the resident doctor in Vancouver’s Portland Hotel - a last-chance destination for lifelong drug abusers - has been courageous, but incredibly frustrating. Maté hears of an ancient medicine beyond his imaginings: one that could provide his patients with a solution. Its name is ayahuasca: the vine of the souls. Deep in the Amazon jungle, French doctor Jacques Mabit is using this medicine to treat hardcore addicts. Mabit runs a detox centre in the Amazon (Takiwasi or "The House That Sings"), using the plants and methods of traditional medicine. Ayahuasca is a visionary formula that unlocks emotional memory; causing life-changing catharsis in those who drink it. The reported success rates for curing addicts at Dr. Mabit's detox centre are quadruple the average.

Dr Mate returns to Canada with a plan to work with a group of healers to treat patients struggling with various types of addiction. At these sessions they will serve ayahuasca: the acrid tea that occupies a grey area of Canadian law. But without a detox centre or support structure for his patients, will it work?

Dr. Jacques Mabit over a cauldron of ayahuasca

Since the publication of his award-winning book, In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts, Dr. Gabor Mate has been one of Canada’s leading thinkers on addiction and its deeper causes. The experience of making the film has had a profound impact on him: “As a physician all too aware of the limitations and narrowness of Western medicine, I have learned much from working with this plant. The Jungle Prescription took me far physically, but even further in the spiritual realm where our deepest humanity resides. The plant, and the experience with the plant, is no panacea. There are no panaceas. But as an opening to human possibility, even in the face of lifelong trauma and desperation, it offers much. Seeing people open to themselves, even temporarily, has been a teaching and an inspiration.”

Thought Experiment: Do you show the real you?

Check out this cool little article.

Succinct and Poignant points on Hell

Do we all feel this? or are you and I the only ones?

...something illusory, and though I can hide my cold gaze and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable: I simply am not there." - Patrick Bateman

Open mind, Open thoughts, Open acceptance

I don't want salvation prayers. I don't want anyone to have to worry about me. Yes, I accept that people do in fact worry, but in light of world-view differences I feel like my lack of desire for heaven is very troublesome for the devout Christian. Years ago as a devout Christian myself, I personally agonized over friends and family I thought were going to hell... how could I not? I love these people and am deeply affected and influenced by their lifestyle and 'walk with God' yet at the same time saw apathy on issues Jesus himself directly addressed.

Today, I don't believe in the after-life. I view sentient beings as plants and trees: when they die they become life for new species... without a dead Hemlock a beaver may not have food or a home, without a dead Cedar a chipmunk may not have a place to raise its family. But I still empathize with the Christian worrying about others' salvation and thus do not want to be that 'other'.

And so I shy from the topic. I censor myself. I say too little. I don't know how to cross the chasm and reach some mutual ground where I can stand and say that people I love believe I'm going to hell, and not resent their belief.

I'm not sure what harms me more: loved ones believing I'm going to hell, or having a resentment I resent. I do not want to resent ANYTHING or ANYONE. EVER. I have been actively working for years (nearly a decade in actuality) at not letting my mind fuel resentment toward any world-views regardless of their doctrine or dogma. I've feel that I may have mistaken passivity for acceptance, so I will go forward with less of the former and more of the latter.

I'm a fucking Atheist with deep deep fucking Ethics...

and emotion; it's with these disturbances that I feel forced to completely and purely step out of the closet to the one hundredth percentile.

How can I continue with the politeness of watering down my beliefs to my Christian loved ones when I feel the whole of Christian community has a lack of regard to non-believers and even less of an accurate understanding?

How can I feel a sense of belonging/community/solidarity or even family when my whole worldview is completely misunderstood and in fact viewed in a negative light? How can this not torment me?

The crux of the problem here lies in the philosophy of understanding. What does it mean to "understand"? how does it look when someone "is" understanding? how big is the valley between "understanding" and "acceptance"?

I have been trying to answer these questions for many many years, all the while attempting to avoid the problems by defaulting to minimizing the value of my personal beliefs... unfortunately I've realized (through the death of my Uncle, the Dad of one of the best friends I or anyone could ever imagine) that I've also been unwittingly minimizing my personal respect in the process.

If I don't show due regard to my own world view, why and how would and could anyone else show due regard to it?

I therefore feel the need to be open and free with what I believe, to sow understanding and cultivate consideration in order to reap dignity.

The the next step would be to actually post this.

I nauseate myself with my personal censorship and constant subdued expression.

Oh how many times I have deleted heart-felt words at the expense of a free heart and mind. I feel the time has come to allow my mouth to be as free as my heart. I feel deeper change. I feel willing to risk my increasing feeling of ideological alienation.

Listening to the Pastor at the funeral exploit a captive audience with full knowledge of many world-views in attendance has caused me to deliberate intensely. Reading the lyrics of worship songs sung in passion have forced me to reflect on the reality that most people I love and respect don't believe in death. It forced me to admit once again that they believe I will spend an eternity in torment in spite of my pure intentions (and pure torment) on earth. If I decide to go lie on the train tracks today, or use cyanide to fall asleep tonight I will rest assured in my lack of existence, but if God brings me to to His gates I will remind him of my profound scepticism and the pain He has caused me... I will remind him of the horrors caused in His name and I will politely but directly remind him of my preference to die peacefully (or in torment) without Him.

As for the questions swirling through my neurotransmitters, I will contemplate them in this revived version of "Tormentography" in my future days of living torment. And, hopefully, every paster around the God-forsaken world will read my every word and never again take even a morsel of dignity from another human-being ever a again.

If you have read this, thank-you.

If you enjoy the picture, thank-you (overlay of 1978 bike and skull found on famous Utah hill known as 'the widowmaker').

I am now going to wipe these tears from my eyes and among other things go smoke cigarettes in the forest.

Peace and love to ALL.

The Sword Fern

These images are from November 14 on the coast of Sunshine Valley. The Ferns were noticably luscious and the cedars abnormally large. Very reminiscent of Tofino.

I also spotted a Varied Thrush, a common bird in BC yet I had never before seen one. Though orange, it blends into the forest's browns very nicely, always looking slick with his black eye mask and thick collar.

...

Crow breath

On one cold brisk afternoon I noticed I could see the breath of this aggressive crow and set out to capture it. These are the results!

Just the other night, the sky was on fire.

Another episode of Skull Shots

This guy lives on one of our backyard plants, and these shot were taken at different times under different lighting:

The Golden-crowned Sparrow:

This was the first and only time I have spotted or photographed this species of sparrow; most of them where juvenile and thus the gold on their crowns hasn't yet fully filled in.

Greater Yellow-legs coming in for landing...

Skull shot of the week

...working some fresh focal techniques:

Angry and cold!

The commonly elusive Varied Thrush!

Though they reside all over the Lower Mainland during these winter months, these are the first and only photos I've been able to capture of this crazy orange bird. It was early December when Cam and I were in search of the many eagles in the Agassiz/Mission area and we ended up at Hayward Lake. When I first noticed the Thrush I though it was just a Robin, but upon closer inspection I realized the colour differences and was pleasantly surprised with the encounter.

1st weekly instalment of "Skull Shots":