The void of expression and the paradox of "freedom"

I'd be able to say what the fuck I felt, but then I'd be "free"...
and judged, and ridiculed and the source of confusion and disappointment.  I'd still be "free", but not by the original definition; I'd probably be "free" on my own terms... which sounds like a truer freedom, a purified one.

That's the beauty of vague ambiguous ideals.  Define them how you like, and apply them wherever is preferable, making sure to avoid particular and crucial aspects of one's life and character lest the cognitive dissonance rips out your soul and life becomes too unbearable to move.  That's why the word "free" is used so often.  That's why the battle for a healthy mind is reminiscent of the pastor's battle for a healthy congregation.  And that's why my mind frames it's despair in those very terms.  I can shed the beliefs, but I can't shed the paradigm of a spiritually exploited childhood... but I shouldn't say that: the guilt they (the church) infused my brain with will turn my day into a painful rumination, and I'm not sure how much longer I can catatonically sit and worry before my body convulses with idle pain.  Literal muscle cramps.

"Freedom": we can all apply it to ourselves in some way or another: we may as well be astrologists.  Nonetheless, fuck a definition, we all wanna be "free".  Me?
I wanna be free of chewing the cud.
But this goddamn brain chemistry, a product of both nature and nurture, research of biology and doctrines of hell, will never allow it regardless of how still I can sit all morning, or how many barrels of tears I can fill in an hour.

Still, I tirelessly try and suicidally fail, all the while knowing I am reaching for nothing significant.  Bound by the chains and cliches of a protestant society and a god-forsaken mind, I sit here expressing myself with the very words that originally enslaved me, only to realize I have said nothing and expressed even less... but paradoxically, that's why I'm talking about "freedom" in the first place: for I am not "free" to scream about all that ails me, I am not "free" to enjoy sitting on this chair, I am not "free" to act how I please, I am not "free" to dismantle my flawed ways of cognition nor am I free to sip this coffee without a strict thought pattern.

I will never be "free",
unless I just change the definition of "freedom",

and create some obscure meaning,

but that's too equivocal,

I'll just shut-up and chew the cud.

Anonymous - Syria & The Drums of War

History has indicated the non-existence of imperialistic altruism.  Countries don't pour billions into military and foreign policy budget to increase the quality of life of another state, that is why we have constant human rights abuses in varying African countries and places such as Bahrain, N. Korea, and so on.  This begs the question of why any country would get involved in another's affairs.  In this case, with a world filled with human rights abuses, why is the US concerned specifically with Syria?

The US has never exercised military force without a vested interest, which why I've been perplexed as to their sudden interest in "helping" Syria.

In this video Anonymous breaks it down succinctly. Their assertion is consistent with America's actions of the past (a couple are briefly mentioned) and not surprising within the context of the iran-contra affair of the Reagan admin, ie America has proven its willingness to forgo ethics in an effort to protect themselves and Israel.

Naturally, "time" will tell us the truth, and by "time" I mean decades...  until then, we can be sure the mainstream media will tow the status quo and outlets such as Anonymous are left to sow potential seeds of truth, albeit with the haze of conspiracy.

We can only hope Anonymous is as wrong as the MSM.

These guys love their hard life, and I hate my easy life...

...but what do they do about toothaches!???

HBO Special: Louis C.K. - Oh My God Trailer

Nothing really to say.

"Better to forget and be happy than to remember and be sad"

An encouraging article, so be calm and don't worry about remembering it!

"Deb Roy, a cognitive science professor at MIT studying language, recorded 8-10 hours daily of the first three years of his son's home life. He compiled a quarter million hours of audio and video, creating a 200,000 gigabyte "ultimate memory machine"(most computers store about one gigabyte)."

Largest structure in universe found — and it's mind-boggling

Largest structure in universe found — and it's mind-boggling

And why is that?

Laura Jane Grace MTV's House Of Style